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| Set Theory Proof of Zermelo's well-ordering theorem given the Axiom of Choice: 1: Take S to be any set. 2: When I reach step three, if S hasn't managed to find a well-ordering relation for itself, I'll feed it into this wood chipper. 3: Hey, look, S is well-ordered. http://www.xkcd.com/982/ |
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| Privacy Eventual headline: 'University Researchers Create Life in Lab! Darkness, Faulty Condoms Blamed.' http://www.xkcd.com/983/ |
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| Space Launch System The SLS head engineer plans to invite Shania Twain to stand under the completed prototype, then tell her, 'I don't expect you to date me just because I'm a rocket scientist, but you've gotta admit--this is pretty fucking impressive.' http://www.xkcd.com/984/ |
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| Percentage Points Grayton also proposed making college scholarships available exclusively to sexually active teens, amnesty for illegal immigrants who create room for themselves by killing a citizen, and a graduated income tax based on penis size. He has been endorsed by Tracy Morgan, John Wilkes Booth's ghost, and the Time Cube guy. http://www.xkcd.com/985/ |
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| Drinking Fountains I've always wondered whether you could drink slowly enough, and eliminate fast enough, that you just sort of peed continuously. But I'm afraid to try because I worry someone might call while I'm doing it and ask what I'm up to, and I won't be able to think of a lie. http://www.xkcd.com/986/ |
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| Potential The bunch of disadvantaged kids I was tutoring became too good at writing, and their essays were forcing me to confront painful existential questions, so I started trying to turn them on to drugs and crime instead. http://www.xkcd.com/987/ |
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| Tradition An 'American tradition' is anything that happened to a baby boomer twice. http://www.xkcd.com/988/ |
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| Cryogenics 'Welcome to the future! Nothing's changed.' was the slogan of my astonishingly short-lived tech startup. http://www.xkcd.com/989/ |
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| Plastic Bags The high I feel when I actually remember to bring my reusable bags to the store--and take them inside rather than leaving them in the parked car--can last for days. http://www.xkcd.com/990/ |
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| Phantom Menace We could go to the theater across town and see if it's opened THERE yet, but we don't want to lose our place in line. http://www.xkcd.com/991/ |
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